Sometimes, especially after a weekend home with Mr. A and Little A, I wonder if I don't have two children already. They tattle on each other, pick on each other, wrestle each other, pass gas on each other... You name it.
Which gets me to my next point, actually having two children. Little A is 5 1/2 and can do many things all by himself. For example, today while I was training for my 5k, he rode his bike w me (no training wheels of course) and we bonded a little between my ragged breathing. After Mr. A and I have our wedding in December we are going to try for a baby. It's no secret that we want a child, but it is scary!!
Mr. A doesn't totally understand my fears of having another child. And really, sometimes I don't understand my own fears. It's not the being pregnant that scares me; I actually enjoyed that. I think it's the whole having a newborn in the house again and being completely and utterly sleep-deprived. Mind you, I did most everything on my own with Little A and things with Mr. A are totally different.
Then there are the things I totally look forward to and miss with having a kindergartner on my hands: feeling a baby kick, having a baby sleep on my chest, firsts (smile, laugh, steps), and of course the love I feel.
And that's what saves me; knowing that Baby A will be loved by an amazing family. And that Mr. A and Little A are my rocks and will be there for me no matter what!!
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